Saturday, October 10, 2009

It's been awhile

Well it has been awhile since I've had anything worthwhile to say. And I don't, at this time, want to leave the impression that I mean that I do now!

Boy did school take me by surprise, I don't think its because I don't have the wherewithal to do it, and maybe even do it well, but because I expected it to be easy for me. I'm about to admit something that, up to this point, I never have. All of my previous education experiences, whether it was at some type of business related training or pursuing my business degree at Indiana Wesleyan, was somewhat easy for me. Not that I didn't work for them, but I did not have to spend a vast amount of time for class study. I was always good at listening during lectures, taking good notes, then passing all of my quiz es and exams. So any time outside of class was for writing a few papers and a bit of research for the multitude of presentations and speeches you give during business education. I expected that this would be the same; boy was I wrong! This experience is requiring ALLOT of outside the class study! Its obvious that the professors are only hitting the high points, and it has become painfully obvious that test and quiz's are not necessarily based on their lectures. And when it is a lecture based question, it is asked differently than it was presented. Man, they want critical thinkers! LOL. so anyway, by the time I realized how I need to be approaching this new experience, I was carrying one of the lowest scores in chemistry. I am not a quitter, but I have never had anything below a "B" on my college transcripts. No way was going to achieve that in chemistry after my disastrous start.

Anyways, the thing I wanted to share with you guys, is the role that prayer played in my latest decision making process. I think most of you are connected to me on Facebook and you might remember my plea last week for a full court prayer push.

#1, I was really struggling with my potential failure in Chemistry, which got me thinking about
#2 Was I really any good at science, and did I have any business teaching it, which got me thinking about
#3 did I even really want to teach Science, after this brief exposure told me that I was going to be forcing "Evolution" down allot of innocent minds.

So what was I going to do with my life. Man wasn't I just here 6 months ago... hadn't I already answered this question for myself? Well, apparently it is not just 18-19 year old college freshman that struggle with what they want to do when they grow up, but a 42 year old college Junior as well. You can't imagine the dark cloud that this little ditty put over my head. So I need your prayers. It was only just under 2 days when I was going to meet with my advisor and try to figure out if I could still find purpose. I need God's guidance, and I needed now! Well, I went to mu knees in prayer that evening and cried like a baby, because you know what, I was scared. I was scared to death... I might discuss my fears some other time... and man I wanted to crawl in my heavenly father's arms and get some comfort. It was a long night!

So anyways guys, I made it to my appointment, and still didn't feel any leading whatsoever. No hints, no nudging, .. nothing. Where was God. so I started off my appointment with my advisor, kind of stumbling around what do I really hved a passion to do. What do I dream of doing.
#1, I still want to be an educator, I want to teach kids, but I could not teach Biology - Earth Science, okay, but not biology. You talk about evolution in every other breath. Can't do it.
#2 I wanted some skills to work with non-profit organizations, for adult education. I want to give adults the tools they need to succeed in today's competitive environment.
#3 Would like to have some training in my skill set that would allow me to work in Ministry in the future.. wow, am I a nut, or what.

So anyways, I had no idea how I was going to get to that point. So I told my advisor, look, I don't know how to do this, and I'm not sure it can be done. (You see the ad visor's main objective, is to make me marketable. He wants me to get a job when I graduate.) So I told him that I had prayed about this, so I know if we worked through it, we could come up with something. I have to tell you, my ad visors attitude absolutely changed after I told him that! He got excited about making it happen.

So what we figured out, and I might be way off base, what I could do to meet everything on my wish list.

Check it out:

My major is English Literature, with a minor it Theatre and a minor in Earth Science. You are probably saying to yourselves.. What? Well I am convinced that this mixture and the areas of study will give the training and the skill sets I need to do everything on my wish list and I am convinced it happened because, I prayed!!! I know allot of you did as well, and I really appreciate and love you for it!

Gang, if you are struggling, if your are hurting, please, please take it to the Lord! He is listening, and he will answer. He will do what he knows is right for you! And if you need me to pray with you, don;t you ever hesitate to give me a call..

I love you guys,